Ask any author where their ideas come from and they’ll more than likely respond that they get their ideas from everyday life. What they’re not telling you is that, as an author, their lives are much more exciting than most everyone else’s.

For example, our cars come with extra screechy tires so when we go for groceries it sounds less like an Accord running an errand and more like that scene from Condorman when he’s being chased in the Condorcar through the alpine village by a trio of black 911’s. One of the drivers has a glass eye because this is always the case.

Coming home is no less dangerous. If we don’t disarm our house alarm before the beeping stops, it explodes. Our phone messages also self-destruct but this is for security purposes as our answering machine is filled with state secrets and our neighbors are all sleeper agents. Except for the weird ones down the street. They’re aliens. From Venus I think.

We don’t run for fitness. We run from zombies. We’re not hitting the punching bag for exercise. We’re fighting Chong Li in the Kumite. We do this in part to prove our own worth and honor our sensei but also to avenge the beating our good friend Ogre received at the hand’s of the ruthless champion.

Our cats are plotting the downfall of mankind. Okay, all cats are plotting the downfall of mankind. So that’s not so special.

But our dogs are robots. And the floor of our homes is actual lava.

So when we say we get our ideas from everyday, we’re not lying.

Author. Father. Dog owner. I stare at the wall a lot. More about me here: benjaminwallacebooks.com

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